The Wife My Husband Deserves

I have an amazing husband... and I know I don't tell him often enough.  Don't get me wrong, we've had our share of disagreements and moody days.  But each time I take a step back from our busy lives, I look on to a man who loves me, loves our children and loves God.


I know that God has blessed our family with Peter.  I'm a woman who needs and wants the direction of my husband.  I love that he leads our family- and that he values family.  Since the moment I uttered my desire to stay at home with our children, he's supported me.  He works hard in his career and God has blessed him with respect in his workplace.  Though he works among people who have many outward signs of success, he has never once complained about driving an old car, eating vegetarian or packing homemade lunches.  There is no second income to pay for the extras, but he never gripes about being without them.  He lets me feel at home in our home- makes it clear that he loves having me here to build and maintain the homestead.


Despite all of this, I'm guilty of not blessing him enough.  I get caught up in the care of the home and the children that I can forget about caring for him.  At Christmas, I studied the Proverbs 31 woman (Proverbs 31:10-31).  It's a beautiful vision of the excellent wife.  I read it many times and vowed to work on areas of my life to become a better wife to my husband.  God gave me an excellent husband and that husband deserves an excellent wife!


One thing I've put off changing is the way I care for my body.  It's hard for me to face the fact that weight has always been a challenge for me.  My husband has gently and kindly told me from time to time how much he appreciates it when I eat well and exercise regularly.  These things are so hard for me!  There's so little time in the day- the laundry never ends and the house is perpetually messy.  It is so hard to carve out time to exercise and so easy to tell myself that I deserve that cookie/coffee/treat for all of my hard work.  But the truth is that my health is important to my husband and therefore needs to be important to me.  He deserves a wife that can keep up with him on hikes and look stunning in a dress.


So I started a couple of weeks ago.  Getting up early and jogging- the one form of exercise that I enjoy.  I love the early morning breeze, the birds singing and the quiet of our neighbourhood.  Each morning when I come in the door, my husband kisses the sweaty, stinky mess that is me.  He looks happy to see me that way.  He wakes up the children and gives them breakfast in order to give me time to shower.  He doesn't complain about this new duty. 


Slowly, I am learning to cook- weaning us all off of the bread and butter, meat and potato dinners that I grew up on.  I thank God for allrecipes.ca.  


I pray that God will use my small efforts and bless our family because of them.  I pray that the way I treat my body will be testimony of my love for my husband.  I pray that each day, I will grow to be a better wife for my husband and a better mother to my children.  I want to be the best I can be because it really is what they all deserve.

Storytime with the Millers

I've recently started an official family story time in our home.  If you've read my last post, you'll recall that I've been really missing my children lately as so many of our waking hours are spent outside of the home.  I was longing for some family together time and while I am still working, story time seemed one of the only realistic ways to fit it in.  Little did I know what a difference half an hour a day would make!

Right after dinner (which is about 7:15 in our house), the children go get their PJ's on and brush their teeth.  The first night we did this, there were a couple of complaints about getting ready for bed so early.  However, by the third night, they were rushing to get changed so that we could start reading!

We all pile onto the brown couch in our living room with our blankets and when we're all there, I begin to read.  I wasn't sure how this was going to go over, since I had chosen a chapter book with very few pictures.  The book was recommended in a homeschooling book that I read and it's pretty old school.  It's also about an Amish family, right down to the bonnets and beards... I wasn't sure if the kids were even going to like it!  But as I started reading, the fidgeting stopped and four children under the age of nine listened intently.

The book is called School Days with The Millers and it's one of a series of books about the Miller Family.  Each chapter is a story- start to finish- about everyday living and what it means to live for Christ each day.  Each story uses a Bible verse to help children understand what God says about that particular lesson.

Well, the stories were definitely applicable to the lives of my children.  Immediately, they began to share after each chapter, situations in which they had faced similar challenges or ideas about how they could handle a situation in the future.  Even our youngest (only 3 years old) could grasp the lessons in her own 3-year old way.  After the first story, I was begged to continue, so now we read 3 chapters each night and discuss them as we go.

After we read, we pray as a family.  I ask the children who would like to pray and anyone who wants to, gets a turn.  Usually, everyone prays.  Since I've been reading for 20 minutes, I usually listen, and Peter closes us in prayer by thanking God for our children and praying blessings on them as they head to bed.

I feel amazed at what a difference this half hour a day has made in our lives.  It's half an hour of snuggling, reading, sharing and praying together.  As a parent, I feel closer to my children and happy that our children are taking this opportunity to share their experiences with us.  This is something that wasn't happening before!  

It's been two weeks of reading together and we are all still enjoying it.  I'm glad I purchased all of the Miller books, because we're already almost finished the first one.  I just wanted to thank God today for using an old school book, blankets and half an hour a day to make a difference in our lives!

Every Mother's dilemma

As a mother, I've cried a lot of tears this year.  Ever since we had our first child, we have sought to have one parent home as much as we could afford to.  Like every parent, we want to spend time with our children, teach them Biblical morals and values, and do everything within our ability to ensure they grow up to be young adults who will please God.
As a result, I've had a number of part time jobs:  Cashier, School bus driver, Home daycare provider, Before and After school care giver, youth worker etc.  Each of these positions suited us for a time, and as the demands of our family changed, so did my work situation.
Accepting my latest role as Before and After School Coordinator allowed us to enroll our children at John Knox Christian School.  I love the school and both my husband and I want desperately to give our children a Christ-centered education.  It was perfect... for a time.
After two years of struggling in school, it was discovered that our son Andrew had many learning disabilities.  He struggles in every subject (except gym and art) and requires much hands-on help with homework and parental cheerleading in order to get through his assignments.  As a family, we don't arrive home until 6:15pm or so.  Then there's dinner to make, lunches to pack, stories to be read and bedtime by 8:30pm.  That's not a whole lot of time for homework help or even face time with each of our four children.
Though our children are receiving amazing love and spiritual reinforcement at school, we have begun to see that it's no replacement for love and spiritual guidance demonstrated at home.  Don't get me wrong, we are living out our faith at home... the problem is that we're only home together as a family for two and a half waking hours each day, and most of those are rushed!  We've just found that this is not enough time to teach, guide and love our children the way we feel God wants us to.  Also, on a more selfish note, I really miss my children!
As I talk to other moms about these thoughts, I realize that almost every mother struggles with this balance to some degree.  Each person I spoke to confessed facing these very same emotions and desires regarding their family.  We all want our children to do well, to know God and to experience as much love and joy as possible!  Yet, in this sinful world, there are no simple solutions to this common dilemma.  So, Peter and I prayed.  We prayed and we prayed.
God has spoken to us through our tears and sleepless nights, and with His guidance we've decided to homeschool our children this coming year.  We have always considered homeschooling an option, but never actually followed through on it due to fear... (how in the world are we going to homeschool four children??!!).  But this time my fears are subsiding.  Both Peter and I feel peace that this is the direction God wants to lead our family, and that He will provide the needed strength and patience.  We also see huge benefits to learning side by side as a family (I sense a road trip in our future!).
So, for the fifth time since being a parent, my working situation will change again.  Though fearful of what we don't know, we are excited about this new adventure in our lives.  We're happy to be making steps to resolve the issue of balance that causes so much stress for our family.  We pray that God will bless our family as we spend many hours together learning about Him and His world, and we look forward to many more hours spent at the homestead.

Our Homestead

Definition of Homestead:


1.  Any dwelling with its land and buildings where a family makes its home.


I've always thought of a homestead as being a farm or large property, and I've always had the dream of living on one.  Instead, our family lives in a large city, close to everything and full of people.  It's far from farm living, but living here has some advantages.  It's close to work for my husband, reducing commuting time.  There are plenty of churches, parks, libraries and places to shop.  
My husband and I both grew up in this town (now city) and feel at home here.  About 5 years ago, we were blessed to purchase our current home from my husband's father.  This is the home my husband grew up in.  It sits on a large treed lot (by Brampton standards) and it is here that we call home and raise our own family.  Though it isn't a farm by any means, we aim to live as though it were.  We grow vegetables, own chickens, air dry laundry and bake from scratch.  
So, though it's not the farm I once dreamed of, our home is a homestead.  It's where we make our home, where we live our lives, where we rest our weary bones at the end of the day.  It's also where I spend my energy working and thinking- and I welcome you to read my thoughts if you find them at all interesting.