Every Mother's dilemma

As a mother, I've cried a lot of tears this year.  Ever since we had our first child, we have sought to have one parent home as much as we could afford to.  Like every parent, we want to spend time with our children, teach them Biblical morals and values, and do everything within our ability to ensure they grow up to be young adults who will please God.
As a result, I've had a number of part time jobs:  Cashier, School bus driver, Home daycare provider, Before and After school care giver, youth worker etc.  Each of these positions suited us for a time, and as the demands of our family changed, so did my work situation.
Accepting my latest role as Before and After School Coordinator allowed us to enroll our children at John Knox Christian School.  I love the school and both my husband and I want desperately to give our children a Christ-centered education.  It was perfect... for a time.
After two years of struggling in school, it was discovered that our son Andrew had many learning disabilities.  He struggles in every subject (except gym and art) and requires much hands-on help with homework and parental cheerleading in order to get through his assignments.  As a family, we don't arrive home until 6:15pm or so.  Then there's dinner to make, lunches to pack, stories to be read and bedtime by 8:30pm.  That's not a whole lot of time for homework help or even face time with each of our four children.
Though our children are receiving amazing love and spiritual reinforcement at school, we have begun to see that it's no replacement for love and spiritual guidance demonstrated at home.  Don't get me wrong, we are living out our faith at home... the problem is that we're only home together as a family for two and a half waking hours each day, and most of those are rushed!  We've just found that this is not enough time to teach, guide and love our children the way we feel God wants us to.  Also, on a more selfish note, I really miss my children!
As I talk to other moms about these thoughts, I realize that almost every mother struggles with this balance to some degree.  Each person I spoke to confessed facing these very same emotions and desires regarding their family.  We all want our children to do well, to know God and to experience as much love and joy as possible!  Yet, in this sinful world, there are no simple solutions to this common dilemma.  So, Peter and I prayed.  We prayed and we prayed.
God has spoken to us through our tears and sleepless nights, and with His guidance we've decided to homeschool our children this coming year.  We have always considered homeschooling an option, but never actually followed through on it due to fear... (how in the world are we going to homeschool four children??!!).  But this time my fears are subsiding.  Both Peter and I feel peace that this is the direction God wants to lead our family, and that He will provide the needed strength and patience.  We also see huge benefits to learning side by side as a family (I sense a road trip in our future!).
So, for the fifth time since being a parent, my working situation will change again.  Though fearful of what we don't know, we are excited about this new adventure in our lives.  We're happy to be making steps to resolve the issue of balance that causes so much stress for our family.  We pray that God will bless our family as we spend many hours together learning about Him and His world, and we look forward to many more hours spent at the homestead.

Our Homestead

Definition of Homestead:


1.  Any dwelling with its land and buildings where a family makes its home.


I've always thought of a homestead as being a farm or large property, and I've always had the dream of living on one.  Instead, our family lives in a large city, close to everything and full of people.  It's far from farm living, but living here has some advantages.  It's close to work for my husband, reducing commuting time.  There are plenty of churches, parks, libraries and places to shop.  
My husband and I both grew up in this town (now city) and feel at home here.  About 5 years ago, we were blessed to purchase our current home from my husband's father.  This is the home my husband grew up in.  It sits on a large treed lot (by Brampton standards) and it is here that we call home and raise our own family.  Though it isn't a farm by any means, we aim to live as though it were.  We grow vegetables, own chickens, air dry laundry and bake from scratch.  
So, though it's not the farm I once dreamed of, our home is a homestead.  It's where we make our home, where we live our lives, where we rest our weary bones at the end of the day.  It's also where I spend my energy working and thinking- and I welcome you to read my thoughts if you find them at all interesting.